The 2008 Presidential Election Results

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Italian Spiderman!

Meet Italian Spiderman. Apparently this is the first of several pseudo-old school, B-movie episodes:

"Righteous" Synth Ska

I keep missing these Internet memes by weeks, months, even years:

I dare you not to laugh, and I double dare you not to have the song stuck in your head all day.

We can't omit the equally (if not more) powerful remix/sequel:


I dare you not to laugh more at this one, especially the "zap" part!

If you didn't play the above videos, the first one is the evidently Roman Catholic rock band Sonseed's "Jesus Is My Friend," and the second is the modified "Reefer Is My Friend." Of course everyone already knew that before me.

Russell Crowe Needs a Math Lesson

Mr. Russell Crowe said last night on the Tonight Show that his perfect solution to the financial crisis here in the U.S. is to take the $700 billion and give each of three hundred million (300,000,000) Americans one million dollars ($1,000,000) "with the first three hundred billion dollars ($300,000,000,000) of the bail out money" to which the crowd roared by the way. So...One million x three hundred million = three hundred trillion (300,000,000,000,000).... ...I won't beat this horse...

The New New Deal

So I haven't been following this $700 billion bailout much but the premise seems like the following: people asked for bigger loans than they could afford, banks said yes and paid huge sums for inflated home prices, economy tanked, people faulted, banks foreclosed and screwed themselves out of the principal, gov now wants to step in and pay for banks' big time greedy mistake. Uh, excuse me... wants US to pay for it. What I'm still missing here is how this makes any sense economically.

Let's just say that the gov has already thrown the $700 billion on the table... they're GOING to spend it. Wouldn't it make more sense to put that enormous sum of money into the hands of people who could reinvest in the banks? Finance cars, houses, boats, etc? Call it Trickle-Up Economics. I mean if unemployment is up, along with gas/food/housing/living prices, why can't we "bail out" the people who really need it (and who didn't cause their dire situation with their own selfish interests). And in this "welfare to work" society, what better way to help out those in need than to make them work for it... by rolling out the New New Deal.

Let's build some schools, refurbish state colleges, repair roads and highways, and create some good, government jobs (and contracts) to help stimulate the economy back into good standing. If the government were to fund public works again and enacts reforms for the banking system again, wouldn't we see some progress toward a healthy economy? One where our dollar doesn't rival the Peso? Where a gas tank doesn't rival a paycheck? Just a thought.

Congrats to Ovation Nominee Katrina Lenk!

On behalf of all of us here at Mutiny Universe, I would like to offer heartfelt congratulations to actress Katrina Lenk, who plays the part of Christine in Mutiny Universe's Elan Vital, for her well deserved 2008 Ovation Award nomination!

The prestigious Los Angeles theatre award ceremony will be held on November 17 at the Harriet & Charles Luckman Fine Arts Complex at Cal State Los Angeles. The show will be hosted by Neil Patrick Harris. Katrina has been nominated in the category of "Lead Actress in a Musical" for her portrayal of Velma Kelly in the musical Chicago, produced by Jeremy Lucas, Bonnie McMahan, Justin Baldwin, Mindy Rouff, and Mark Espinosa for the Musical Theatre of Los Angeles Alliance.

Eight Mondays of "Élan Vital" Music

We are releasing virtually all of the music I wrote/arranged and produced for Élan Vital via our podcast at mutuni.com - about three songs every Monday until November 10. To prevent the plot of the film from being spoiled, we're releasing the soundtrack in alphabetical order (more or less).

Today, we have the following songs (click on the links to download or right-click to save as):
All's Well That Ed's Well
The Blue Lady
Christine

The entire soundtrack will be released again, in its proper order, around the beginning of next year. Stayed tuned to Mutiny Universe for more information.

The Iceman Cometh

It's always awesome when actors are open to parody the characters they've played in the past (those DirecTV commercials, Harry Hamlin allowing his Perseus to get his ass kicked in God of War II, and George Clooney's open remorse for Batman and Robin). Anyway, I just remembered this Top Gun "sequel" from the turn of the millennium:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Crazy Christian group:
"Dinosaurs on Noah's Ark."
T-Rex ate the boat?

The scary future

Veep Sarah Palin
I'm moving to Canada
If she gets sworn in

I AM ED

I am. Trust me. And if you get a chance to see ELAN VITAl, my new movie, you'll understand. Or, maybe you won't understand, but you'll certainly see that I am, in fact, ED.

It won't be on the world-wide interweb for a little while, as it's off to Festivals right now, but you should definitely check it out. As an actor, I am incredibly insecure about my performance and the fact that I look ugly and overweight in this movie. As an Associate Producer, I love how Ed has a definitive and pivotal role in the grand scheme of things. Plus the fact that Ed is surrounded by some amazing lighting and great scenery, courtesy of the Monsoon Cafe Lounge and some Jason Loya artwork.

What does it mean to be ED? It's an awakening of sorts. It's trying to see everything for what it is, but bring the contradictory parts of this world together into some kind of harmony. It's bringing your wombmates out of their shell and letting them express themselves in a way that is scary to them but ultimately will save them and make them happier in life. It's being the lynchpin... the crux... the guy who never gets more than a sip of whiskey, but is looking less for the alcoholic stupor and more for the Boogie Woogie.

Trust me, ya gotta see this movie.

Light Bulb of the Future?

I was completely baffled when the power company in my city mailed me 2 free CFL bulbs. Why am I baffled? Those are supposed to be good right? Save energy - longer lasting - better for the environment...right? Sure - whatever. Along with the CFLs (Compact Fluorescent Lamp) - in the "free" box from the power company (for which I will surely pay somewhere in my monthly bill) came two green plastic bags for use in the disposal of the CFLs when they burn out. It turns out these "green" bulbs pollute the environment with mercury when they break! So I am supposed to hang on to these plastic bags for several years so that I can safely dispose of these "environmentally friendly" bulbs - these "green" bulbs??!

Oh - that's the other thing - I should not have put green in quotes there. The color temp of these CFLs is no different than that of any other fluorescent bulb (think library, bleak hallway, prison, school, place of 1000 cubicles) - literally GREEN. Ugh. It is the ugliest quality of light imaginable. Give it a coating like a Reveal Bulb to closer resemble daylight and perhaps we're getting somewhere but that still hasn't happened and certainly doesn't change that little mercury issue.

So what options do we really have if we're not supposed to use incandescent bulbs and these CFLs BLOW? A friend of mine brought up the idea that LEDs should be the standard. I agree with that - for now. They last longer, give off less heat, and save money and resources across the board. For the time being, LEDs make the most sense of anything widely available on the market.



However, I recently stumbled upon Luxim's new technology - the plasma light bulb. It is the size of a Tic Tac, has the color temp of daylight, lasts far longer than anything else - and apparently can be powered wirelessly! It is a brand new technology and cannot be expected to be in every one's home overnight but if the public can move to LED technology and then to plasma technology, skipping the fluorescent stage altogether, we shall see some real progress in energy efficiency and quality as we venture further into the new century.

George Orwell's Diaries from 1938-1942...

...are now in blog format: http://orwelldiaries.wordpress.com/ His entries may be 70 years post-dated, but I have a feeling that their contemporary relevance still remains.

"Élan Vital" Teaser Trailer

Élan Vital Trailer


Check out myspace.com/elanvitalmovie for exciting news in the coming weeks!

The Picture Has a Voice!

After many months of hard work, Jedediah Jones and Ryan DeRamos are in the final stages of the sound design. I was extraordinarily pleased with the first draft and after making just a few key notes, the guys are polishing the music and sound for what seems to be only a two draft process!

Of course Ryan and Jed each had several drafts as Ryan honed the score and Jed, the sound design and dialog in what many would consider a tedious process in which one must balance one's own sensibilities with the pre-made world that we had created so many months before. As the director, I have been pleased to see Ryan's and Jed's sensibilities craft something unique that took many of my ideas and not only elaborated on them but often re-envisioned completely in order for them to become the perfect auditory compliments to the visual world that we had created.

With color correction finished and the sound scape nearly complete, we have only the credits left to do before we have ourselves a finished film. I look forward to unveiling it to everyone soon!

Assplosion!

This is pure bust-a-gut awesomeness made recently by some good friends of mine. YOU MUST WATCH THIS!!

Knowing Is Half the Battle

"Hey, kid, I'm a computer."


"Porkchop sandwiches!"

Retraction: DO NOT Listen to MacGruber

MacGruber is currently working on some self-esteem issues.

Once he pulls through this midlife crisis, we can safely say that the guy's a freakin' genius!

Happy Birthday to all you youngsters born on February 29th! You finally get to not share a de facto birthday with those born on March 1st - your own official day (of course you know that already). The above embedded MacGruber midlife crisis sketch is for all you Leap Year tweens and early teens! And all you Leap Year four year olds can finally get your driver's licenses! Woo-hoo!

Nuanced Note to Everyone: Only Listen to MacGruber When He's Sober

He'll pull through and go back on the wagon...I know it!

The guy's still a freakin' genius!

Note to Everyone: Listen to MacGruber

When MacGruber tells you to do something, you do it...or else.

The guy's a freakin' genius!

"I Drink Your Milkshake" SNL Sketch

Happy Academy Awards Day! There will be milkshakes for old men, Juno.

moxy phinx "dozhd edyot"

This is beyond awesome:

dozhd edyot

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Visit moxy phinx's MySpace.

Stephen Colbert's "A Brief History of Time"

Check out this how-to guide to become an astrophysicist and otherwise educational video about the universe:

I'm sure you're crapping your pants right now reflecting on the immenseness of the universe.

Happy Vday (Strike Is Over)

Happy Valentine's
The writer's strike is over
Here's John Lennon's song.

Translated: (1) Happy (early) Valentine's Day, (2) the Writer's Guild strike is (essentially) over, and (3) moving on to the realm unresolved global/human issues, here's John Lennon's "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)":

Podcast #25: Of Hiccups and Neologisms

Ryan goes into a hiccup fit whilst spieling about politics 18 minutes into the show; he also dabbles in would-be neologisms (saying analysist instead of the actual term analyst).

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1. Wolfkin "These Are Illusions"
2. Snake and Jet’s Amazing Bullit Band "10 Cities Beyond" More Music
3. Lionel Neykov "I Need You"
4. moxy phinx "hyln" MySpace
5. ANTIQCOOL "When Your Down"

The Chronicles of Colbert and Conan: Who Made Huckabee?

For the first part of 2008, there has been a comedy feud between Conan O'Brien and Stephen Colbert, regarding the answer to life, the universe, and everything (without being 42): Who made Mike Huckabee?

I first blogged about the Huckabee causality conundrum on my currently politically-tinged blog DeRamos.org after Conan mentioned re-energizing Chuck Norris, who in turn re-energized Huckabee to win the first caucus of the election season in Iowa. Little did I know that my humble little blog entry caught the attention of Stephen Colbert and/or the bloggers at Comedy Central (not the writers, as they were supposed to be on strike at the time). The screenshot at the beginning of this entry shows a link from the Colbert Nation to DeRamos.org's article "Huckabee's Caucus Win, Conan's Causality."

Much has been said about the Colbert Bump - that is, being interviewed on The Colbert Report invariably bumps up the interviewee's popularity - and my other blog experienced something like that in terms of blog traffic for about a week. In gratitude for this third-tier quasi-Colbert Bump, and with my inner comedic muckraker never letting go of a funny story, I have followed the entire story at DeRamos.org: Check out part one | part 1.5 | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven for in-depth reference.

Otherwise, here are the videos (catch 'em while they are still hosted by Hulu and Comedy Central) telling the epic story in its entirety:

1. Conan made Huckabee (currently unavailable on Hulu so check out the later videos for context).


2. No, Colbert made Huckabee.


3. No, Conan made Colbert and therefore made Huckabee.


4. No, Jon Stewart made Conan and therefore made Huckabee.


5. No, Conan made both Stewart and Colbert and therefore made Huckabee. Evidently, he also shaved off his strike beard between the previous Late Night video and this one.


6. The final battle, part one, on The Daily Show.



7. The final battle, part two, on The Colbert Report.



8. The final battle, part three, on Late Night with Conan O'Brien.


9. The epilogue, multiple endings a la The Return of the King, on The Daily Show.




10. A summary of the events, courtesy of Comedy Central.


The screenshot is from ColbertNation.com.

"Yield" at Ten

Today marks the tenth anniversary of the release of what I think is the finest Pearl Jam album to date - Yield. To me, it represents a culmination of the whole "grunge" phase of the band - from the out-of-the-gate commercial successes of Ten / Vs. / Vitalogy to the shedding of fair-weather fans (who moved on to the next MTV trend of the '90s) with No Code. Yield marks the beginning of the an era of sum-of-its-parts synergy from the band. Instead of being merely Stone's album (with Ed's lyrics) or Ed's album with some collaborations, each band member contributed to album with their own songs, in their personal style:

"Brain of J.," "Faithfull," and "Given to Fly" are Mike McCready's wailing rockers. Stone Gossard's penchant for groove and rhythms butting against each other are evident in "No Way," "Do the Evolution," "In Hiding," and "All Those Yesterdays." Jeff Ament contributes yet another melancholy song in "Low Light," and the emotional residue thereof is also glimpsed in the rocker "Pilate" and the spoken-word groover "Push Me, Pull Me." Of course, Eddie Vedder lent a hand in several of the aforementioned tracks, as well as penning some minimalist rock 'n roll with "Wishlist" and "M.F.C."

Not to be left out, then-drummer Jack Irons wrote a transitional track - the one labeled with a red dot - and in future albums, current drummer Matt Cameron has had several songwriting contributions.

Pearl Jam has since left their previous record label Epic (Sony BMG) in favor of a quasi-a-la-carte distribution deal with J Records (another Sony BMG label) and other media outlets (like Rhino/WEA), so consumers will probably be spared from some sort of special anniversary repackaging of the album with a bunch of bonus material or whatever record companies do these days to siphon money from people. It's something neither the band nor its fan base probably will tolerate, in any case. However, if you want to celebrate the album Yield with auxiliary material, the band released such material throughout the calendar year 1998:

1. In August of '98, the band released a making-of-Yield documentary film called Single Video Theory.
2. In November of '98, the band released a Yield Tour compilation called Live on Two Legs, which features the band in another transition, with former Soundgarden drummer Matt Cameron keeping the beat.

So here's to my favorite album by one of my favorite bands. If you follow the syllogism, then Yield would have to be on my list of favorite albums.

Homer Simpson Rocks

Last Sunday's episode of The Simpsons totally rocked. While there have been issues about series continuity, everyone needs to realize that the children (at the very least) haven't aged in 18+ years...I mean, how many last day of school episodes for the same school year did they produce? Exactly. So roll with it, identify with the parody, and laugh. A lot. And possibly cringe. A little.

Here's a selection of songs by Homer Simpson's grunge band Sadgasm (check 'em out while they are still on Hulu):

"Politically Incorrect" sounds like Nirvana's "Lithium" with a bit of "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle."

"Save Me" is reminiscent of an L7 song and Nirvana's "Rape Me." Stick around a few minutes after the song for Weird Al's parody-of-a-parody "Brain Freeze."



Homer goes post-grunge - or as Spin magazine once called it, scrunge - with "Margerine," which is obviously is a reference to the Bush song "Glycerine" (ah, most of the '90s, when Bush meant the band Bush).



And for context, here's the entire episode, entitled "That '90s Show":

Mutiny Universe Promotes Growth (Radio@MU #24)

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The grand irony is that this 30-second promotional spot ("commercial") for Mutiny Universe and the Radio@MU Podcast took the same amount of time as producing about three 30 minute podcasts.

Stay tuned for new Radio@MU episodes in February, with great music from great independent artists. And if the muse bites me (or is that a mosquito?), there will be more installments of Video@MU in the future.

The Force Unleashed: Your Training Is Complete

This blog entry qualifies for some sort of ubergeek reward this year. Check out this video promoting the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Unleashed video game:

The exciting part (for me, anyway) is the mechanics that create the virtual environment of the game, which is a collaboration of three major physics emulators:

1. A program called Digital Molecular Matter tells wood to splinter, glass to shatter, metal to dent, etc.
2. A program called Havok makes sure that objects moved by The Force move according to Newton's Laws - that is, with The Force involved with actual physics.
3. A program called Euphoria gives non-player characters and enemies an advanced artificial intelligence, to deal with splintering wood, shattering glass, denting metal, projectiles thrown at them by The Force, and being thrown like a projectile by The Force.

The fanboys and fangirls of that long ago, far away galaxy would be more excited about the plot, which centers around Darth Vader's secret apprentice, who's going to kill more Jedi during the time between the Prequel Trilogy and the Original Trilogy. I guess having a secret apprentice is some sort of scandal in the Star Wars galaxy, like having a mistress or another family in another state. I suppose getting caught with a secret apprentice would be bad for Darth Vader's political career (it is an election year, after all).

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed will be unleashed this summer (the current release date is August 26, 2008) in the above physics-robust format for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3, a less physics-robust but with lightsaber swinging action version for the Wii, and other consoles as well.

Archived Forum Post: Arrested Development

On November 20, 2006, Jason Loya wrote:

I've been watching the Arrested Development first season DVD set (I know it's not a "film" but without the commercial interruptions and the fact that it is shot single camera qualifies it for this part of the forum). Being someone who doesn't actually watch any television at all, I wasn't sure what to expect when I borrowed the DVD set from a friend of mine. I was half expecting to have to lie to said friend and tell him how fantastic the TV show is just before I gouge my eyes out. This same friend usually doesn't hold back his opinions much regarding my personal favorites such as David Lynch - but what can I say - I'm a nice guy. In any case, with Arrested Development, it didn't even come to this. I am able to save the charade for another day because after just a couple episodes I found myself actually enjoying it! It is a 3 disk set and follows the Bluth family's endeavors and antics in a very film-like fashion. This is perhaps the first reason why I like it - the show doesn't reek of television. It is a 16:9 presentation with camera work that is far more interesting than a 3 camera studio setup. Most of the time, the shots are hand held, making you feel like you are a close observer of the family - like you're in the room with them and not really just some bored and listless lump on the couch. The characters are unique and entertaining and again - not usual television stock. The story for the most part is funny and witty and easy to follow while the writing is relevant to the show's contemporary audience.

The entire first disk is excellent. As the characters are set up in their world, I found myself easily engrossed and regularly laughing out loud. The first half of the second disk has signs of a production that was in turmoil. They swapped actresses for the same character and made about three or four episodes that just do not seem to go anywhere, lacking the same vibrancy as the others. At that point in my viewing, I almost gave up on the show. Certain characters that I had grown to like were not acting like themselves at all while certain themes began to seem redundant. However, right when I was about to chalk the first disk up to luck and banish the set to TV hell, I watched 1, then 2, then 3 more episodes and laughed my ass off. So at this point I'm 2/3 done with the set and the show has new life. So far, I definitely recommend this DVD set for some fun, lighthearted, and sometimes enjoyably crass entertainment. I'll write again when I finish the series.

On February 14, 2007, Katy Savage replied:

Arrested Development has got to be one of the funniest shows in recent TV history -- I'm glad our friend John strong-armed me into borrowing the DVDs. And although it's sad that it's off the air, I'm glad the show's writers wrapped everything up in the last episode and gave it some closure.

Remember that show The Wonder Years? My roommate's friend brought over a bootleg copy of the entire run of the show (some 800 episodes or something like that) and it just D R A G G E D... And in the end, the show never satisfies you. Winnie and Kevin never fulfill their companionship, and all the time you invested in the show is utterly wasted. Arrested Development, on the other hand, gives you everything you want... Even the cousinly sexual tension that keeps you on edge the whole show is resolved.

And YES YES YES, DVD is the ONLY way to go when you're watching anything with a continuous plot...

And today, using the company's Blogger account, Ryan DeRamos posts another episode of Arrested Development, hosted on Hulu:

Jonny Greenwood, Eddie Vedder, and the D.I.Y. Ethos

I was extremely disappointed to see the Academy Award nominations today, when it came to music nominations. Neither Radiohead guitarist/multi-instrumentalist Jonny Greenwood's score for There Will Be Blood nor any part of Eddie Vedder's Golden Globe-winning Into the Wild soundtrack were nominated for an Oscar. Apparently, according to Rolling Stone magazine:

"On the music front, Jonny Greenwood’s score for There Will Be Blood was disqualified from the competition despite already picking up a Critic’s Choice Award and getting nominated for a British Academy Award. Eddie Vedder’s omission is confusing, as his “Guaranteed” from Into the Wild seemed to be a shoe-in for Oscar love after winning a Golden Globe."

(By the way, I first received news of the nomination list from Rama's SCREEN, run by someone I knew from high school but have gotten to know better through blogging. There's a lot of great, late-breaking movie news at Rama's SCREEN.)

Anyway, check out the trailer for There Will Be Blood, with bits and pieces from Greenwood's score:

And if want to hear some more Greenwood ASAP, your best bet is to download the album through Amazon.com's DRM-free MP3 service: There Will Be Blood.

Eddie Vedder's "Guaranteed" won the Golden Globe for Best Song, but Vedder's work has been snubbed in favor of not one, not two, but three songs from Enchanted. At least Cate Blanchett's two nods come from two different movies (the Elizabeth sequel and I'm Not There). Anyhow, check out the music video for "Guaranteed":



The quickest way to hear the rest of Vedder's soundtrack is to download it through DRM-filled iTunes, as the album hasn't made it to DRM-free iTunes Plus or DRM-free Amazon.com MP3 yet: [Deluxe Version] |

Before I try to provide some analysis to my lamentations, let me just quote what I wrote in the comments of the Rama's SCREEN Oscar Nomination entry: "It’s a bit reassuring (in a masochistic way) that these 1990s alt-rock heroes are still underrated by the mainstream…the establishment. The spirit of D.I.Y. ethos and not selling out lives on, I guess…"

The moral of the story is that the establishment doesn't have to recognize fantastic artists, as it often doesn't. And so what if the mainstream often rewards things that are more popular and less timeless? It's a cliché, but it happens all the time. It shouldn't - and doesn't - stop some really wonderful, timeless work from being produced, regardless of acclaim.

If it's any consolation, not having a Golden Globes ceremony and not being nominated for the currently green-lit Oscar show actually saves Vedder the trouble of being part of a potentially awkward situation. The only thing left is this year's Grammy Awards, in which Vedder is nominated and could win and could say something like twelve years ago:



Jonny Greenwood photo credit: Zach Klein.
Eddie Vedder photo credit: Jim Bachalo.

Haiku Current Events

Oscar nods today.
Heath Ledger, twenty-eight (!!!), dead.
More comments later.

Searching for Bobby Fischer (1943-2008)

Chess master Fischer
Mr. International
Dead at 64.

Anyhow, if you remember the book and/or the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer (I don't), apparently it had something to do with someone considered the next Bobby Fischer...like how Hilary Swank succeeded Ralph Macchio as The Next Karate Kid. Classy.

But if you're literally searching for Mr. Fischer, you'll have to go old school for this adventure. Do I hear epic adventure? Here's how:

1. Go to the banks of the River Styx. You might try one of the following Stygian rivers:

• Styx River in Tasmania, Australia
• Styx River in New South Wales, Australia
• Styx River in Ontario, Canada
• One of four Styx Rivers in New Zealand
• Styx River in Perm, Russia
• Styx River in Alabama in the USA
• Styx River in Alaska in the USA
• River Styx in Florida in the USA
• River Styx in Georgia in the USA
• River Styx in Kentucky in the USA
• One of the two River Styxes in Michigan in the USA.
• Styx River in Ohio in the USA

But you will not be successful. Try the Acheron River in northwest Greece. Keep walking until you find some poor (literally poor) wandering shades unable to pay the Ferryman.


2. Choose a Ferryman. Most people expect to ride with Charon (the one on the far left), but he's much too expensive for most people. On the plus side, Charon serves Louis XIII cognac on his boat.

If you want to save some money, you're going to have to settle for Phlegyas' boat. It's like coach class, but it'll take you from point A to point B.

3. Avoid any all all three-, two-, or one-headed hellhounds, especially the one named Cerebus. Or at least take the Dog Whisperer Cesar Millan along as a traveling buddy...and as a decoy.

4. Once you reach Hades...well, there are a whole lot of places to look and a whole lot of residents to potentially piss off. So you're on your own. Why are we searching for Bobby Fischer again? Anyhow, this map might help:

5. Good luck. Well this shaggy dog story went nowhere...

Bobby Fischer photo credit: Chris Lott. Acheron River photo credit: Samuli Lintula. Michelangelo's rendition of Charon in The Last Judgment photo credit: Ghirlandajo. Phlegias with Dante and Virgil, stained glass in Museo Poldi Pezzoli in Milan photo credit: G. Dallorto.
Underworld map credit: Virgil.org.