Retraction: DO NOT Listen to MacGruber

MacGruber is currently working on some self-esteem issues.

Once he pulls through this midlife crisis, we can safely say that the guy's a freakin' genius!

Happy Birthday to all you youngsters born on February 29th! You finally get to not share a de facto birthday with those born on March 1st - your own official day (of course you know that already). The above embedded MacGruber midlife crisis sketch is for all you Leap Year tweens and early teens! And all you Leap Year four year olds can finally get your driver's licenses! Woo-hoo!

Nuanced Note to Everyone: Only Listen to MacGruber When He's Sober

He'll pull through and go back on the wagon...I know it!

The guy's still a freakin' genius!

Note to Everyone: Listen to MacGruber

When MacGruber tells you to do something, you do it...or else.

The guy's a freakin' genius!

"I Drink Your Milkshake" SNL Sketch

Happy Academy Awards Day! There will be milkshakes for old men, Juno.

Stephen Colbert's "A Brief History of Time"

Check out this how-to guide to become an astrophysicist and otherwise educational video about the universe:

I'm sure you're crapping your pants right now reflecting on the immenseness of the universe.

The Chronicles of Colbert and Conan: Who Made Huckabee?

For the first part of 2008, there has been a comedy feud between Conan O'Brien and Stephen Colbert, regarding the answer to life, the universe, and everything (without being 42): Who made Mike Huckabee?

I first blogged about the Huckabee causality conundrum on my currently politically-tinged blog DeRamos.org after Conan mentioned re-energizing Chuck Norris, who in turn re-energized Huckabee to win the first caucus of the election season in Iowa. Little did I know that my humble little blog entry caught the attention of Stephen Colbert and/or the bloggers at Comedy Central (not the writers, as they were supposed to be on strike at the time). The screenshot at the beginning of this entry shows a link from the Colbert Nation to DeRamos.org's article "Huckabee's Caucus Win, Conan's Causality."

Much has been said about the Colbert Bump - that is, being interviewed on The Colbert Report invariably bumps up the interviewee's popularity - and my other blog experienced something like that in terms of blog traffic for about a week. In gratitude for this third-tier quasi-Colbert Bump, and with my inner comedic muckraker never letting go of a funny story, I have followed the entire story at DeRamos.org: Check out part one | part 1.5 | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven for in-depth reference.

Otherwise, here are the videos (catch 'em while they are still hosted by Hulu and Comedy Central) telling the epic story in its entirety:

1. Conan made Huckabee (currently unavailable on Hulu so check out the later videos for context).


2. No, Colbert made Huckabee.


3. No, Conan made Colbert and therefore made Huckabee.


4. No, Jon Stewart made Conan and therefore made Huckabee.


5. No, Conan made both Stewart and Colbert and therefore made Huckabee. Evidently, he also shaved off his strike beard between the previous Late Night video and this one.


6. The final battle, part one, on The Daily Show.



7. The final battle, part two, on The Colbert Report.



8. The final battle, part three, on Late Night with Conan O'Brien.


9. The epilogue, multiple endings a la The Return of the King, on The Daily Show.




10. A summary of the events, courtesy of Comedy Central.


The screenshot is from ColbertNation.com.

Homer Simpson Rocks

Last Sunday's episode of The Simpsons totally rocked. While there have been issues about series continuity, everyone needs to realize that the children (at the very least) haven't aged in 18+ years...I mean, how many last day of school episodes for the same school year did they produce? Exactly. So roll with it, identify with the parody, and laugh. A lot. And possibly cringe. A little.

Here's a selection of songs by Homer Simpson's grunge band Sadgasm (check 'em out while they are still on Hulu):

"Politically Incorrect" sounds like Nirvana's "Lithium" with a bit of "Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle."

"Save Me" is reminiscent of an L7 song and Nirvana's "Rape Me." Stick around a few minutes after the song for Weird Al's parody-of-a-parody "Brain Freeze."



Homer goes post-grunge - or as Spin magazine once called it, scrunge - with "Margerine," which is obviously is a reference to the Bush song "Glycerine" (ah, most of the '90s, when Bush meant the band Bush).



And for context, here's the entire episode, entitled "That '90s Show":

Archived Forum Post: Arrested Development

On November 20, 2006, Jason Loya wrote:

I've been watching the Arrested Development first season DVD set (I know it's not a "film" but without the commercial interruptions and the fact that it is shot single camera qualifies it for this part of the forum). Being someone who doesn't actually watch any television at all, I wasn't sure what to expect when I borrowed the DVD set from a friend of mine. I was half expecting to have to lie to said friend and tell him how fantastic the TV show is just before I gouge my eyes out. This same friend usually doesn't hold back his opinions much regarding my personal favorites such as David Lynch - but what can I say - I'm a nice guy. In any case, with Arrested Development, it didn't even come to this. I am able to save the charade for another day because after just a couple episodes I found myself actually enjoying it! It is a 3 disk set and follows the Bluth family's endeavors and antics in a very film-like fashion. This is perhaps the first reason why I like it - the show doesn't reek of television. It is a 16:9 presentation with camera work that is far more interesting than a 3 camera studio setup. Most of the time, the shots are hand held, making you feel like you are a close observer of the family - like you're in the room with them and not really just some bored and listless lump on the couch. The characters are unique and entertaining and again - not usual television stock. The story for the most part is funny and witty and easy to follow while the writing is relevant to the show's contemporary audience.

The entire first disk is excellent. As the characters are set up in their world, I found myself easily engrossed and regularly laughing out loud. The first half of the second disk has signs of a production that was in turmoil. They swapped actresses for the same character and made about three or four episodes that just do not seem to go anywhere, lacking the same vibrancy as the others. At that point in my viewing, I almost gave up on the show. Certain characters that I had grown to like were not acting like themselves at all while certain themes began to seem redundant. However, right when I was about to chalk the first disk up to luck and banish the set to TV hell, I watched 1, then 2, then 3 more episodes and laughed my ass off. So at this point I'm 2/3 done with the set and the show has new life. So far, I definitely recommend this DVD set for some fun, lighthearted, and sometimes enjoyably crass entertainment. I'll write again when I finish the series.

On February 14, 2007, Katy Savage replied:

Arrested Development has got to be one of the funniest shows in recent TV history -- I'm glad our friend John strong-armed me into borrowing the DVDs. And although it's sad that it's off the air, I'm glad the show's writers wrapped everything up in the last episode and gave it some closure.

Remember that show The Wonder Years? My roommate's friend brought over a bootleg copy of the entire run of the show (some 800 episodes or something like that) and it just D R A G G E D... And in the end, the show never satisfies you. Winnie and Kevin never fulfill their companionship, and all the time you invested in the show is utterly wasted. Arrested Development, on the other hand, gives you everything you want... Even the cousinly sexual tension that keeps you on edge the whole show is resolved.

And YES YES YES, DVD is the ONLY way to go when you're watching anything with a continuous plot...

And today, using the company's Blogger account, Ryan DeRamos posts another episode of Arrested Development, hosted on Hulu:

Haiku Current Events

Oscar nods today.
Heath Ledger, twenty-eight (!!!), dead.
More comments later.

Doogie's "Blog Entry" Turns Eighteen

I pretty much wrote this entry on another blog, but here's a blog entry from the First Blogger, Dr. Doogie Howser, apparently written (or in reality, broadcast) exactly 18 years ago, on Wednesday, January 17, 1990:

Doogie writes:

January 17, 1990... Jealousy. You never outgrow it. As Bogey might have said - the only thing worse than a jealous lover is a slug from a .44... then again, there's nothing better.

WORD.

Doogie Howser's words written by the writers of Doogie Howser, M.D. Support the Writers!

Late Night Talk Show Host Exchange Program

The beleaguered late night talk show hosts (without writers) have evidently joined forces...because they're running out of regular ideas. Truthfully, this sort of out of the box thinking is going well, for the time being.

Last Wednesday...or Thursday...night, Jimmy Kimmel was the first guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and Jay Leno was the first guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live. The staggered time slots of both shows made it possible for people in most major TV markets to watch both interviews.

From about midnight to 12:10 AM, Jimmy was on Jay (the pun is appropriate!):

From about 12:15 to 12:25 AM, Jay was on Jimmy (who needs professional writers for these one-liners?):

Watch a clip on AOL.

Ryan's List-Worthy from Last Year List: Books I Read for the First Time

Since I didn't read any books last year...there's more to this sentence...that were published in 2007, I'm going to list three good reads from last year, regardless of release date. Why only three books? I only read about eight and a quarter books in 2007, which is probably an 825% increase than the previous handful of years combined.

1. My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn Buy from Amazon.com
Along with Ishmael (which you'll have to read before this one), The Story of B, and Beyond Civilization, this book is a great read for those who have enough chutzpah to leave the pyramid schemes of the world and run a small business (or similar way of life) that isn't very pyramid-like. And if you can't totally leave the pyramids behind, there's a lot of philosophical stuff that might help subvert the status quo...in a good way, of course. And if that doesn't sell you on these books - the hero is a wise, telepathic gorilla.

2. The Art of War by Sun Tzu Free e-Book | $1 Audiobook | Free Audiobook | Buy from Amazon.com | Buy for Kindle
If the above selection (and related books) represents yielding to nature when it comes to lifestyle (in general) and business (if applicable), then this one represents badass, yet strategic, warmongering - which is slightly necessary when it comes to competing with rival businesses and bigger fish. I personally feel that several seemingly contradictory qualities are necessary for success. Then again, I am neither a self-help guru nor a life coach. In any case, The Art of War just badass.

3. Old Greek Stories by James Baldwin Free e-Book | Free Audiobook | Buy for Kindle
I love anti-Zeus/Jupiter propaganda. Textbook author James Baldwin's interpretation of Greco-Roman myth is light on the Greek and heavy on the Roman, even to the point of ignoring the whole Cronus/Saturn eating his children storyline. It's this kind of storytelling that makes you want to play God of War II (where Zeus is also the bad guy), or at least watch a YouTube video or two:

By the way, Kindle e-Books require a reader, like Kindle: Amazon's New Wireless Reading Device.

If this list doesn't float your boat, you can always watch (good) TV:



Francisco Goya's "Saturn Devouring His Son" rocks.

Conan O'Brien Rocks

Jay Leno's decision to write his own monologues falls in a dark gray area of the WGA strike, but Conan O'Brien seems to go the lighter gray route by ad libbing in a quasi-reality show fashion:

That's right - Conan rocks! On last night's show, Conan sang a rockabilly song with the band. With these one-man show antics, I'm sure Conan can endure the rest of the strike without his writing staff.

As a reminder of what a great writer/writing staff can do, here's the next episode from the first season of Arrested Development (as we've been posting Hulu-approved entire episodes of shows for the couple of months):

Why TV Needs Its Writers Back...

Because of the writer's strike, we'll miss broadcast TV sketch comedies and late night comedy bits that make fun of Britney Spears being pulled around on a stretcher.

We'll have to settle for non-union, Internet comedians (and wannabe comedians) in drag (or at least a blonde wig, bedsheet, and a stretcher) to satirize this event and post videos ad nauseam on YouTube. Here's to new media!

That is, except for Jay Leno, who may or may not have scabbed by writing his own monologue material. Jay is a WGA guy who delivered not only a premeditated, but a written, monologue. What do you all think of this?

Haiku Current Events

Democracy news:
Pakistan: Star Wars prequel?
Heh. I wrote caucus.

Ryan's List-Worthy from Last Year List: Computer Programs

Happy New Year!

Since it's that time of year where virtually everyone writes a list or two about their favorites from the year before, I think I'll join in with my insignificant opinions about random stuff. I've been creating more media than consuming it in 2007, so these lists will be rather short.

Anyhow, here are my Top 5 new computer programs, installed in 2007:

1. Upgrade to Pro Tools 7.3 - I wouldn't be able to properly score Elan Vital without the video function.

2. Digidesign Strike - I loves me my robot. Requires Pro Tools.

3. FXpansion VST to RTAS Adapter - RTAS plugins cost money. Lots and lots of money. Several VST plugins can be found on the Net for free, and some of them are pretty darn good. Only really useful to wrap VST plugins for use in Pro Tools.

4. Upgrade to BIAS Soundsoap Pro - Awesome. I tried it a little bit last year, but I'll really put this program to the test when I get back to dialogue editing for Elan Vital. Works in Pro Tools (RTAS), as well as other host programs (VST, etc.).

5. Upgrade to the latest iTunes ("iTunes Plus" with the DRM-free mp3s for sale) - Because I think I've run out of 2007 programs to praise. Anyhow, Amazon.com has a competing high-bitrate, DRM-free mp3 store.

Haiku Conspiracy New Year's Eve

Earth is all growsd up?

Titanic conspiracy?



New Year's "Shock and Aww"?

Haiku Current Events

Pats' perfect season.
Major labels quasi-change?
Double-O neighbor.

Haiku Current Events

Broadcast NFL!
Conspiracy theories rock.
Letterman's writers!

Haiku Current Events

Musharraf to blame?
Is this a democracy?
Let fascism reign?